Homily for the Week of October 4, 2009

27th Sunday Year B 2009
First Reading: Genesis 2:18–24
Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 128:1–2, 3, 4–5, 6
Second Reading: Hebrews 2:9–11
Gospel: Mark 10:2–16 [2–12]

This weekend we are given a series of Bible readings about equality between sexes, and marriage. Most of you don't know that women in this country got the right to vote less than 100 years ago. At the time of Jesus, women were regarded as possessions, which meant that only a man could ask for divorce. There was also a debate going on among the Jews. Some followed the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy and the rabbi Shammai who interpreted God to allow divorce only in cases of adultery. On the other hand, the followers of Rabbi Hillel taught that a man could divorce his wife for any reason including loosing her youthful looks.

Today's first reading as been used for thousand of years to justify treating women as inferior to men. But experts in ancient culture have shown that the basic point is that none of the animals was an equal partner to the man. He has dutifully named all the animals, but could not find a fully satisfying partnership. None of the animals together are equal partners to the man. Consequently, God created the first woman, as he did the first man, with a unique act of creation. The stress is on the unique relationship between the first woman and the first man.
The gospel is very difficult to understand and, for some, difficult to accept even today. Many families have suffered the agony of divorce, and today's Gospel could very well be another wound. Jesus is very clear about divorce, but the context must be noted. To whom is Jesus speaking? He is not speaking to those who are divorced. He is speaking to a group of Pharisees, a group of religious lawyers. These are legalists who have challenged Him on legalistic grounds, and He responds in kind. They ask about the law. Jesus responds with the law.

Another context for our Gospel is to remember that while women could be charged with adultery, men could not. In the house with the disciples, Jesus makes clear that, in His mind, not only could women commit adultery, but men could as well. The creation story of man and woman does not create a hierarchy of men over women, it creates a partnership of equality, and in the debate over divorce, Jesus reminds His disciples of this.

The question before Jesus was about much more than divorce. It was about exceptions to the rules and the law. Like the pharisees how often do we too read the rules, but we want to know the exceptions. Today's readings provide us with an opportunity to reflect on whether we are prepared to take risks in our relationships with others and trust each other. They also challenge us to look at our relationship with God and assess how much we are prepared to love God as opposed to simply believing in God or asking God for what we need.

Obviously, because of various reasons, for some there is no way in which two persons are able to make such a lasting agreement. Too often a man and woman about to get married bring into the marriage a lot of baggage. In most cases problems began years before the wedding day. Often these personal difficulties were hidden or covered over in the process of marriage preparation. In our times when the tools of communication such as cell phones and the internet are so readily available, it is a real tragedy that many of preparing for marriage do not or are afraid to be honest in trusting each other.

The ability to trust one another was lacking. Often, the marriage was only a public event that happened to take place in a Catholic church. While no bride and groom whose marriage I have witnessed as a priest planned to get divorced, many do. Sometimes divorce may be the best solution. However, parents who are divorced must not hate one another. Parents who are divorced can be gentle with each other and treat each other with love and respect. Children must never feel that they are the cause of the divorce.

For those of you who are happily married take this day to reflect and to thank each other for the gift of each other. Let your wedding ring, which is round and has no beginning and no end, be a sign of God's love for you, and your love for each other.
For those of you preparing for marriage, take time by yourself to consider what must be done so that you will give to your future partner the best person that could ever be expected, and change what needs to be changed before you are married.
For those of you who may be in a struggling marriage, plan to do something immediately by seeking assistance through others and through prayer alone and together to face the problems which you have.

And for those of you whose marriage may have ended, be like the little children of the gospel who trusted Jesus, and then were embraced and blessed by him. Loving God or loving another completely is never easy. Neither is marriage easy. However, letting the love of God be a partner to the love of one another, can make marriage easier and last until death.
Ultimately, there is very little that cannot be kept good, or made better by prayer. Believe in the spiritual guidance of: the family that prays together stays together. Let all of us promise ourselves that we make prayer the absolute necessity of our lives, especially family prayer.